Existence is Futile
http://youtu.be/ex2E4vyGem0
^Emma's theme
The title is a reference to the most common thing you'll hear a Vogon say. The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is still a great inspirer for me. Also, it's the reason why the world ends on a Thursday XD R.I.P Douglas Adams, your work lives on!
***
Nigel had been staring at the screen for Elder knows how many minutes, without registering a single pixel it showed. Happiness didn't come easily to him at any times, but right this moment he was utterly pissed off. He was just going to refuse to do this, if that didn't sound just as childish as it was. And the sooner he got this done, the sooner he would be done with this place altogether. But he just couldn't get it started with all the fury he was feeling.
Everyone had been given the day off. A time of their own, to tie all loose ends or spend as they wished, before heading out to face the end of the world. Everyone. Except for Nigel Willoby, the Irreplaceable. His face was wrinkled with sourness.
The world was about to end. Or rather, be ended. They had come up with a bold plan to try to stop it and as usual, it was decided that Nigel would be the one to figure out the details. As everyone else was out having fun with their families and loved ones. This was just so, so typical.
Lord Michael had been outraged that the Knights had been let out at all, when they should have been meditating and drilling for the battle ahead. Right this moment Nigel was agreeing with his old master, since that would have put everyone else on the same misery-boat as he. Or maybe he wouldn't have been that miserable, if he hadn't been the only one left behind. No way to know now... Anyway, lord Zaphikel had been insistent that the mortals have time to settle their own affairs. Very kind of him, so very considerate of him. To avoid a dispute among the celestial lords themselves though – now it wouldn't be very smart of them to wipe out each other right before the apocalypse – Zaphikel had offered Nigel as a compromise. Nigel would draw the plans, root out the clues and do all the research, while everyone else was enjoying themselves. Sure, he was free to go as soon as he was finished, if that ever happened...
You should definitely spend the time with her. Take her out for dinner. Get her something she likes. Think romantic, like in the movies, and do all of it, Daniel had advised him. The guy was right. He should be spending time with Audrye instead of the hardware that was humming around him, calculating the odds. He had one of the small ones googleing 'romantic' and picking out possible things to put on his to-do-list. Now that was a bucket list he didn't know if he even wanted to fulfil. But anything for Audrye. If they only had 36 hours left, it should be spent to make her smile.
The computer bleeped as a signal for another suggestion. Nigel blinked at it. OK, that one he might actually be able to do... His fingers tapped the keyboard in fluent motions. A hint of a smile shadowed the corners of his lips. Now how was this for romantic...
His phone rang.
"Nuu, put it on the screen", he ordered the robot that was silently standing beside him. He frowned at the caller ID. Was the captain in trouble, already?
"Talk", he snapped. He still couldn't keep the resentment out of his voice.
"Hiya, V, have a minute?"
"Sure, I'm just sitting here, doing nothing. Like trying to save your asses from getting kicked out of this dimension", he answered venomously.
"Good, hear me out for a sec", Emma had just brushed off the sarcasm like she hadn't even heard what he had said.
"Emma, are you in some sort of a predicament?" he asked in desperation.
"Of course not! Well, not as such... I'm here at the hotel, waiting for D to come and... just needed someone to talk to."
She was of course going to spend the last of her days with her White Knight. Nigel had understood that while Daniel was running some of his own errands, Emma had gone to get them a luxury suite and some lingerie for herself.
"Can't you talk to Quill?"
"I want to talk to you. Foxtrot wouldn't understand this. Besides, he's busy and I don't want to interrupt him."
She didn't want to interrupt him? But apparently Nigel didn't matter. He was the one with a time limit that couldn't be passed, but none of that mattered.
"V, you've got the machines working for you, surely you can lend me an ear while they do their thing. You don't even have to really listen, I just need to spill this out."
Nigel sighed. He was such a pushover.
"Go ahead, then", he replied, defeated.
"So I'm here, in a fancy hotel room I paid way too much for, laying on this gorgeous, fluffy bed..."
"Emma, I can see you. Your wrist sends a video call and there's a mirror on the ceiling."
The woman didn't even flinch, despite the fact that she was laying on the bed wearing only her underwear. She just gave her mirror image a lopsided grin and adjusted the straps of the marine blue bra. The colour looked good next to her smoky shaded cyborg arm. She was all set up for her evening and Daniel was in for a treat.
"Don't be silly, I've got my clothes ready right there", Emma dismissed him, turning her wrist towards a pile of clothes folded on the chair so that Nigel could see them, "I'm not saying that there won't be any treats though."
She gave him a lecherous smile, but it seemed to be missing it's sharpest edge. Holding her hand on her tummy, her fingers unconsciously stroking the words written on the skin there, she continued:
"I thought I had it all planned out. I'd wait for D to arrive, put on some music, magic happens, we'd make love all night –", she started to explain rapidly.
"Emma, I don't want to know any more details of this!"
"– blow off the steam."
Nigel's ears were burning with the image now vivid in his mind.
"But seriously, I think all this end-of-the-world-crap just really hit me now."
Nigel couldn't help but roll his eyes. That was so like her. She always just faced the dangers and threats and wrangled them down before even thinking what might happen if she lost. Given her record, she couldn't think of herself as immortal or untouchable, but she never seemed to give it any thought until afterwards.
"This is it. The last battle of good and evil, isn't it? We're just playing here, trying to forget for one day what lies before us. And then it's Thursday, and we do some fighting, and we're all going to die."
She had really thought this through, Nigel smiled to himself, thankful that his end of the line didn't have a webcam that would send a video feed back to her.
"I... I think I need to do a will", she almost whispered. So she hadn't thought it through. If they should fail, there wouldn't be anyone left to collect that inheritance. But he could play along, if it made her happy.
"Could you take this down for me, V? Make it official and all that. My mother's house. I bought it, paid off the mortgages. I need her to get full ownership. The rest... I want Alex to have it. Not much in terms of personal property, but more so in cold assets."
"He's going to remember you as his favourite aunt, for making him a millionaire", Nigel said dryly.
"Oh, he'll need someone to look after it until he is of age. Or he'll just blow it all up on booze and drugs or something."
She held her breath for a moment.
"V, I want you to do that. Be the guardian until he turns eighteen."
"And you think that he'll magically not blow it up on booze and drugs then?" Nigel had to ask. He was really taken though that Emma was so sure that he would survive the apocalypse to be a guardian for that brat of a nephew.
"Well, it won't be my problem then", she shrugged it off, "But make sure that he keeps the Torres shirt."
Nigel searched his memory for the story behind that red jersey. Oh yes, Emma and Daniel had one crucial difference of opinion. Coming from a wealthy family and being adopted into an even wealthier one, Daniel had never had to think about saving up. Money was something that was always there, waiting on one's account. Emma, on the other hand, was born and raised in the suburbs of Liverpool, and not in the better ones at that. She had collected her wealth penny by penny and guarded that hoard like a mother dragon. The biggest argument those two had even gotten into was about money. Emma could not agree on spending any on frivolous things and Daniel couldn't fathom why none could be used to make life more comfortable when possible. When he had bought them a bottle of Dom, Emma had counted the value of every drop she drunk. And Daniel had teased her about her savings, why did she need all of it. So Emma had went, and bought a signed and framed Liverpool no. 9 shirt just to show that she could spend her money when she wanted. She used that jersey as a pyjama shirt, the most expensive nightgown Nigel knew of. And she regretted ever buying it.
"All right, anything else?"
"I want Sybil to take care of Wolfenstein. Or would it be too much? She's already taking care of one orphaned nephew... But I have no one else, since you can't stand the fur", she stated, "I think that's it."
Her voice echoed the resolve in her mind. Nigel grimaced. Maybe he would have to say something before she became totally morbid and ready waste her life away. Sure it could mean that he wouldn't be the only one having a miserable evening, but he didn't want to spoil it for Daniel. The soldier deserved something more for the gesture he was doing for her.
"Emma", he tried to say in his most reassuring voice, "You're not going to die."
She was so silent on the other end of the line that he thought she was holding her breath.
"How can you be so sure?"
"We've got a plan and I'm going to make sure that it'll work. I have every faith that you all do your part and live through 'til Friday."
Ah, apparently he could be an adept liar.
"… And then what?"
"What do you mean, 'then what'?" he was genuinely puzzled.
"I... I was just so ready to go all out, with no regrets."
Maybe something the thief had taught him had stuck, since something what she said caught his attention.
"But now you do have some regrets?" Nigel couldn't think of what it'd be though. Her plans for the evening were everything he could only hope for.
"I... I don't know what I'd do if we survived. I didn't even think about it. Everyone was so ready to go on this suicide mission."
"It doesn't have to be a suicide mission. Not if you are careful."
"Now you're telling me. Can you promise me though?"
Nigel thought about it. What did he have to lose? He wasn't one to believe in life after death. If he was wrong, she couldn't beat him up for it.
"I promise."
She nodded in response. She seemed too overwhelmed to say anything.
"How about you concentrate on this Thursday first and think about the future afterwards?" he suggested.
"Or better yet, concentrate on what comes before Thursday", she smirked, but it was still a weak one, "Maybe I should get my clothes on, D should be here soon. Luckily I remembered this bag that Tico gave me! I thought I was going to have to go buy something –"
Her increasingly cheerful voice was cut off as Nigel turned his head towards a screen that had gone black. He managed to blink once before the next shut down.
"Nuu! Cut the connection!" he yelled at the robot. His fingers were now dancing on the keyboards, trying to find out the source of the attack.
For it was an attack. Someone was breaking through his firewalls. His defences were shutting off his programs in order to try to shield them from the invader. Whoever it was, they were were good. They had breached through the outer shields without detection. But not as good as Vainary. They had set off the alarms before any real damage had been done and now it was all about catching them, and making them regret ever trying to play with the master.
"V? What's going on?" Emma's call was on a private line, patched through by Nuu. The girl had cut the connection to the main network as ordered, but had kept the phone line active.
"We're being hacked here! You have to figure out the rest on your own, Emma, I'll be pretty busy here", he snarled while concentrating on the safe zone he had managed to build within the system. It wouldn't hold out for long though. He signalled Nuu to cut the call.
There! A hole in their code. Nigel frowned, his fingers resting on the keys. It looked to be too easy. Narrowing his eyes, he finally tapped in a command. Enter.
One of the screens went bright purple. Yes, it had been a trap after all. Nigel sneered. Too bad the girl didn't see the look on his face. He had contained it within just a portion of the network. And now that he knew who he was dealing with, this was going to be child's play. He chuckled at the pun.
That brat. She didn't give up. This attack had been a more sophisticated one than what the 14-year-old wannabe had done before. But she was still too aggressive and always assumed that a hack-attempt would throw Vainary off his game. It never did.
What do you want, kid? He wrote. If only the words could convey the contempt he was feeling.
I just wanted to see you one more time. She was as cocky as always.
Back off and I won't fry your circuits.
Oh I would still let you fry my circuits if you wanted to. Nigel felt that there was an innuendo there, but he missed it. This wasn't going anywhere. Better just kick the intruder off the grid. Now that he got her in his net, it would be quite easy to toss her out.
Enter.
Nigel leaned back in his chair.
"Nuu, run the diagnostics."
Better get back to work. Or he'd never be done. He had promised Emma that he would do everything he could. He would see her survive this. He was counting on Daniel's help on the practical side of the battle but he didn't doubt that the soldier would disappoint him there. Emma was going to live when Friday came.
^Emma's theme
The title is a reference to the most common thing you'll hear a Vogon say. The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is still a great inspirer for me. Also, it's the reason why the world ends on a Thursday XD R.I.P Douglas Adams, your work lives on!
***
Nigel had been staring at the screen for Elder knows how many minutes, without registering a single pixel it showed. Happiness didn't come easily to him at any times, but right this moment he was utterly pissed off. He was just going to refuse to do this, if that didn't sound just as childish as it was. And the sooner he got this done, the sooner he would be done with this place altogether. But he just couldn't get it started with all the fury he was feeling.
Everyone had been given the day off. A time of their own, to tie all loose ends or spend as they wished, before heading out to face the end of the world. Everyone. Except for Nigel Willoby, the Irreplaceable. His face was wrinkled with sourness.
The world was about to end. Or rather, be ended. They had come up with a bold plan to try to stop it and as usual, it was decided that Nigel would be the one to figure out the details. As everyone else was out having fun with their families and loved ones. This was just so, so typical.
Lord Michael had been outraged that the Knights had been let out at all, when they should have been meditating and drilling for the battle ahead. Right this moment Nigel was agreeing with his old master, since that would have put everyone else on the same misery-boat as he. Or maybe he wouldn't have been that miserable, if he hadn't been the only one left behind. No way to know now... Anyway, lord Zaphikel had been insistent that the mortals have time to settle their own affairs. Very kind of him, so very considerate of him. To avoid a dispute among the celestial lords themselves though – now it wouldn't be very smart of them to wipe out each other right before the apocalypse – Zaphikel had offered Nigel as a compromise. Nigel would draw the plans, root out the clues and do all the research, while everyone else was enjoying themselves. Sure, he was free to go as soon as he was finished, if that ever happened...
You should definitely spend the time with her. Take her out for dinner. Get her something she likes. Think romantic, like in the movies, and do all of it, Daniel had advised him. The guy was right. He should be spending time with Audrye instead of the hardware that was humming around him, calculating the odds. He had one of the small ones googleing 'romantic' and picking out possible things to put on his to-do-list. Now that was a bucket list he didn't know if he even wanted to fulfil. But anything for Audrye. If they only had 36 hours left, it should be spent to make her smile.
The computer bleeped as a signal for another suggestion. Nigel blinked at it. OK, that one he might actually be able to do... His fingers tapped the keyboard in fluent motions. A hint of a smile shadowed the corners of his lips. Now how was this for romantic...
His phone rang.
"Nuu, put it on the screen", he ordered the robot that was silently standing beside him. He frowned at the caller ID. Was the captain in trouble, already?
"Talk", he snapped. He still couldn't keep the resentment out of his voice.
"Hiya, V, have a minute?"
"Sure, I'm just sitting here, doing nothing. Like trying to save your asses from getting kicked out of this dimension", he answered venomously.
"Good, hear me out for a sec", Emma had just brushed off the sarcasm like she hadn't even heard what he had said.
"Emma, are you in some sort of a predicament?" he asked in desperation.
"Of course not! Well, not as such... I'm here at the hotel, waiting for D to come and... just needed someone to talk to."
She was of course going to spend the last of her days with her White Knight. Nigel had understood that while Daniel was running some of his own errands, Emma had gone to get them a luxury suite and some lingerie for herself.
"Can't you talk to Quill?"
"I want to talk to you. Foxtrot wouldn't understand this. Besides, he's busy and I don't want to interrupt him."
She didn't want to interrupt him? But apparently Nigel didn't matter. He was the one with a time limit that couldn't be passed, but none of that mattered.
"V, you've got the machines working for you, surely you can lend me an ear while they do their thing. You don't even have to really listen, I just need to spill this out."
Nigel sighed. He was such a pushover.
"Go ahead, then", he replied, defeated.
"So I'm here, in a fancy hotel room I paid way too much for, laying on this gorgeous, fluffy bed..."
"Emma, I can see you. Your wrist sends a video call and there's a mirror on the ceiling."
The woman didn't even flinch, despite the fact that she was laying on the bed wearing only her underwear. She just gave her mirror image a lopsided grin and adjusted the straps of the marine blue bra. The colour looked good next to her smoky shaded cyborg arm. She was all set up for her evening and Daniel was in for a treat.
"Don't be silly, I've got my clothes ready right there", Emma dismissed him, turning her wrist towards a pile of clothes folded on the chair so that Nigel could see them, "I'm not saying that there won't be any treats though."
She gave him a lecherous smile, but it seemed to be missing it's sharpest edge. Holding her hand on her tummy, her fingers unconsciously stroking the words written on the skin there, she continued:
"I thought I had it all planned out. I'd wait for D to arrive, put on some music, magic happens, we'd make love all night –", she started to explain rapidly.
"Emma, I don't want to know any more details of this!"
"– blow off the steam."
Nigel's ears were burning with the image now vivid in his mind.
"But seriously, I think all this end-of-the-world-crap just really hit me now."
Nigel couldn't help but roll his eyes. That was so like her. She always just faced the dangers and threats and wrangled them down before even thinking what might happen if she lost. Given her record, she couldn't think of herself as immortal or untouchable, but she never seemed to give it any thought until afterwards.
"This is it. The last battle of good and evil, isn't it? We're just playing here, trying to forget for one day what lies before us. And then it's Thursday, and we do some fighting, and we're all going to die."
She had really thought this through, Nigel smiled to himself, thankful that his end of the line didn't have a webcam that would send a video feed back to her.
"I... I think I need to do a will", she almost whispered. So she hadn't thought it through. If they should fail, there wouldn't be anyone left to collect that inheritance. But he could play along, if it made her happy.
"Could you take this down for me, V? Make it official and all that. My mother's house. I bought it, paid off the mortgages. I need her to get full ownership. The rest... I want Alex to have it. Not much in terms of personal property, but more so in cold assets."
"He's going to remember you as his favourite aunt, for making him a millionaire", Nigel said dryly.
"Oh, he'll need someone to look after it until he is of age. Or he'll just blow it all up on booze and drugs or something."
She held her breath for a moment.
"V, I want you to do that. Be the guardian until he turns eighteen."
"And you think that he'll magically not blow it up on booze and drugs then?" Nigel had to ask. He was really taken though that Emma was so sure that he would survive the apocalypse to be a guardian for that brat of a nephew.
"Well, it won't be my problem then", she shrugged it off, "But make sure that he keeps the Torres shirt."
Nigel searched his memory for the story behind that red jersey. Oh yes, Emma and Daniel had one crucial difference of opinion. Coming from a wealthy family and being adopted into an even wealthier one, Daniel had never had to think about saving up. Money was something that was always there, waiting on one's account. Emma, on the other hand, was born and raised in the suburbs of Liverpool, and not in the better ones at that. She had collected her wealth penny by penny and guarded that hoard like a mother dragon. The biggest argument those two had even gotten into was about money. Emma could not agree on spending any on frivolous things and Daniel couldn't fathom why none could be used to make life more comfortable when possible. When he had bought them a bottle of Dom, Emma had counted the value of every drop she drunk. And Daniel had teased her about her savings, why did she need all of it. So Emma had went, and bought a signed and framed Liverpool no. 9 shirt just to show that she could spend her money when she wanted. She used that jersey as a pyjama shirt, the most expensive nightgown Nigel knew of. And she regretted ever buying it.
"All right, anything else?"
"I want Sybil to take care of Wolfenstein. Or would it be too much? She's already taking care of one orphaned nephew... But I have no one else, since you can't stand the fur", she stated, "I think that's it."
Her voice echoed the resolve in her mind. Nigel grimaced. Maybe he would have to say something before she became totally morbid and ready waste her life away. Sure it could mean that he wouldn't be the only one having a miserable evening, but he didn't want to spoil it for Daniel. The soldier deserved something more for the gesture he was doing for her.
"Emma", he tried to say in his most reassuring voice, "You're not going to die."
She was so silent on the other end of the line that he thought she was holding her breath.
"How can you be so sure?"
"We've got a plan and I'm going to make sure that it'll work. I have every faith that you all do your part and live through 'til Friday."
Ah, apparently he could be an adept liar.
"… And then what?"
"What do you mean, 'then what'?" he was genuinely puzzled.
"I... I was just so ready to go all out, with no regrets."
Maybe something the thief had taught him had stuck, since something what she said caught his attention.
"But now you do have some regrets?" Nigel couldn't think of what it'd be though. Her plans for the evening were everything he could only hope for.
"I... I don't know what I'd do if we survived. I didn't even think about it. Everyone was so ready to go on this suicide mission."
"It doesn't have to be a suicide mission. Not if you are careful."
"Now you're telling me. Can you promise me though?"
Nigel thought about it. What did he have to lose? He wasn't one to believe in life after death. If he was wrong, she couldn't beat him up for it.
"I promise."
She nodded in response. She seemed too overwhelmed to say anything.
"How about you concentrate on this Thursday first and think about the future afterwards?" he suggested.
"Or better yet, concentrate on what comes before Thursday", she smirked, but it was still a weak one, "Maybe I should get my clothes on, D should be here soon. Luckily I remembered this bag that Tico gave me! I thought I was going to have to go buy something –"
Her increasingly cheerful voice was cut off as Nigel turned his head towards a screen that had gone black. He managed to blink once before the next shut down.
"Nuu! Cut the connection!" he yelled at the robot. His fingers were now dancing on the keyboards, trying to find out the source of the attack.
For it was an attack. Someone was breaking through his firewalls. His defences were shutting off his programs in order to try to shield them from the invader. Whoever it was, they were were good. They had breached through the outer shields without detection. But not as good as Vainary. They had set off the alarms before any real damage had been done and now it was all about catching them, and making them regret ever trying to play with the master.
"V? What's going on?" Emma's call was on a private line, patched through by Nuu. The girl had cut the connection to the main network as ordered, but had kept the phone line active.
"We're being hacked here! You have to figure out the rest on your own, Emma, I'll be pretty busy here", he snarled while concentrating on the safe zone he had managed to build within the system. It wouldn't hold out for long though. He signalled Nuu to cut the call.
There! A hole in their code. Nigel frowned, his fingers resting on the keys. It looked to be too easy. Narrowing his eyes, he finally tapped in a command. Enter.
One of the screens went bright purple. Yes, it had been a trap after all. Nigel sneered. Too bad the girl didn't see the look on his face. He had contained it within just a portion of the network. And now that he knew who he was dealing with, this was going to be child's play. He chuckled at the pun.
That brat. She didn't give up. This attack had been a more sophisticated one than what the 14-year-old wannabe had done before. But she was still too aggressive and always assumed that a hack-attempt would throw Vainary off his game. It never did.
What do you want, kid? He wrote. If only the words could convey the contempt he was feeling.
I just wanted to see you one more time. She was as cocky as always.
Back off and I won't fry your circuits.
Oh I would still let you fry my circuits if you wanted to. Nigel felt that there was an innuendo there, but he missed it. This wasn't going anywhere. Better just kick the intruder off the grid. Now that he got her in his net, it would be quite easy to toss her out.
Enter.
Nigel leaned back in his chair.
"Nuu, run the diagnostics."
Better get back to work. Or he'd never be done. He had promised Emma that he would do everything he could. He would see her survive this. He was counting on Daniel's help on the practical side of the battle but he didn't doubt that the soldier would disappoint him there. Emma was going to live when Friday came.
<3 Nigel is my superhero.
VastaaPoista