Better Than I Know Myself

There's a song to go with the last part of this story, and a link at the end :3 This part of the story... With Audrye and Nigel... It was really hard to write and took me several tries to get the lines together, but in the end I think I did well :)

***

"You knew that we were going to be sent to Liverpool, didn't you?" Emma accused Nigel as they were getting ready to get him back home from HQ.

"I knew that some Knights were going to be sent there. I couldn't be sure that you would be picked", he said defensibly.

"Really? Considering my background just how did you expect me to be left out?"

"I couldn't be sure Weston-Pryce would even be named the leader. It was just as probable that lo- Zack would pick someone completely new, to really shake things up. And they might have gone with stealth in stead of muscle. Or kept as many healers at hand as possible, since you're bound to face some serious injuries."

"The odds, V. Tell me the odds."



"… I gave this scenario a probability of 85%", he finally admitted. The woman slapped him to the back of his head. But it was a light tap, like an elder sister rebuking a younger brother.

"You know what this means, don't you?" she said with agony written all over her face, "I'll have to call my mother. If she finds out I had come to town without paying her a visit, I'd never hear the end of it. She's bugging me enough as it is..."

Nigel had not dug too deep into her family matters.

"Not a close relationship with her?"

She gave a long sigh.

"It's not that. I love my mother, but I haven't visited in person in over half a decade. I couldn't. What if she asked about my glove? I could never explain it..."

"Can't you say it's just some rash? You must have used something when you stayed with your sister."

"Sybil knows better than to pry. Mum's different. She'd be all over her collection of salves."

"Then give her something else to think about. Take Weston-Pryce with you, that ought to keep your mum busy", he suggested with a straight face. Then, before his poker face melted, he gave Emma another curve-ball.

"If you're really into lower odds, then I also suggest that you check out Anfield if no other trail on the assassin comes along."

"Anfield? How come?"

"There was some surveillance footage showing blades being carried there. And perhaps a woman matching her description. I couldn't enhance the picture to be clear enough in the time-frame I was given. I'll give it 75% though."

"Alright, Ill let D know. Maybe we would need Foxtrot after all, if we're going to sneak into the field."

Nigel felt so sorry for her. But it was better that she would be prepared.

"You won't have to. You can probably convince the guard to let you in."

"A pretty incompetent guard to let some strangers pass just like that. I thought their job was to keep people out", she chuckled.

"The guard in charge is one Mr. Donald Pierce. I'm sure you can use some leverage on him", he tried to say as levelly as he could. She went pale.

"How... how much do you know about him?" she finally asked quietly. Her eyes scanned their surroundings, making sure no one else was around. So it was a sore spot for her still.

"He came up in your background check. A small newspaper add, pronouncing the engagement of Mr. Donald William Pierce and Miss Emma Abigail Ernsthart. No further details on matrimony though. I suppose it fell through?"

"We... we split up. I haven't seen him in years", she answered quietly, still shocked. He suggested they got on their way, hoping she'd concentrate on traffic so that he would survive home.

"I wish you best of luck in Liverpool, Emma", he said as he got up from the bike, still shaking a bit. She had been a daredevil on the road. Good thing he had given the program to Weston-Pryce.

"Whatever comes, you should trust in Daniel. He seems to be a good man", he added. He wasn't even lying, to his own amazement. Emma gave him a weak smile, but nodded. Now it was all in the hands of the soldier boy. He hoped to to see her back safe.

***

Lord Zaphikel had assigned him to find the remaining artefact. Haruhi and Yuki were doing preliminary searches and strategy suggestions. Which left Nigel free to chase other ends. The next few days went by too swiftly though, and now he was face to face with his perhaps-ex-girlfriend, who had been dropped to his place unannounced by the Mexican who had just returned from their Liverpool mission.

He tried to remember everything Matt had managed to teach him in this short time. It had been a bitter pill to swallow, but he had called the thief in the end.

"You... You look lovely", he said hesitantly to the woman glaring at him.

"Thanks, I guess", she replied coldly. Nigel bit his tongue. A woman will keep on an appearance of a grudge until they are completely satisfied with your apology, the thief had said. She was not going to go easy on him and he would just have to endure it. It was going to be worth it.

"Do you want to sit down? Can I get you anything?" Try to get her comfortable, and where you want her. She hadn't moved from the doorway and looked like she was about to dart out any moment. From the couch it would be a dash of a couple of meters, and he could at least try to intercept her.

"I'm fine." Of course, she might refuse. Begging might help.

"Audrye, please", he pleaded. She took the first steps dragging her feet, but stomped the rest of the way. The first stage was dealt with. Gathering his thoughts and arranging his words he picked up a few cans from the fridge.

Do not enter her comfort zone unless she gives you explicit permission. He had almost sat next to her out of habit, but at the last minute chose the chair instead. That had almost been a bust.

"I... I think we have some sort of a misunderstanding here", he began. His throat seemed so dry, the words barely got out. He took a long sip from the can.

"What have I misunderstood now?" she snapped back. This sounded like a trap. Take the blame, always.

"No, I was wrong!" he tried as a quick repair, "I thought..." Bloody hell why was this so hard?!

"I thought you had left me for good. And it was the last thing I wanted."

Did she see how much it had hurt him? Was there some faltering on her expression? She was fiddling with her ponytail, curling the hair in her fingers. Did she usually have a ponytail? He used to be able to picture her perfectly, but now he couldn't be sure. Maybe something more vague would be best, then.

"Your hair looks nice in a ponytail."

The fingers snapped quickly away from the golden locks. Maybe the hair-compliments were supposed to be left for when things were fine? Why couldn't he remember the advice clearly now when he needed it?

"What's up with you? You're never like this", she asked suspiciously.

"I'm trying to be nice for you", he sighed. Why couldn't she just give him a break already? She must know how he was, he wasn't good at this. She will let you suffer until you're a sobbing pulp of a man, suck it up. It had to be worth it.

"I see. But you're creeping me out."

He gritted his teeth. She had accused him of never being nice to her, which in itself was news to Nigel, but now when he tried to be even nicer, it was creepy? Sucking it up. Tasted like lemon.

"I'll tone it down, then. But can we just talk this through?"

She refused to look at him. Perhaps in order to have something else to do, she finally reached for the can he had brought for her.

"Why did it take you this long to want to talk?" she finally asked.

Nigel was confused. She had been the one to leave. She had not even tried to talk to him afterwards. She had given him the cold shoulder at the HQ. Taking the blame. But what could he say? That he had been rehearsing for this with Matt? That he still didn't feel like he was ready for this conversation?

"I'm... sorry", was the best thing he could come up with.

"You knew I was angry with you, but you just ignored it! Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

"I'm... sorry?" he replied as he had no idea of a better answer. He couldn't know how she felt. If he did, he'd make a fortune as a mind-reader.

"Don't you have anything else to say?" she exhaled, frustrated.

"What do you want me to say?" he sighed, defeated, "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to care."

Now what sort of a demand was that? Care about what? He cared a lot, about a lot of things.

"Tell me", he started to say when the thief's voice rang in his head: Never order her to do anything. Always ask. "Would you tell me what do you mean? I don't understand."

"Like I said, I want you to care. Care about me", she explained cryptically, but the hardest edge of cold hatred was gone from her voice. Nigel shook his head slightly. Audrye was very high on his list about things he cared about.

"What makes you think I don't care about you?" he said before he could stop himself. Just as he anticipated, she didn't take it too well.

"You're always so concentrated on your work, you never seem to even notice me! This is the longest conversation we've had in months!" she raised her voice.

"I'm sorry", he again replied, "I'll pay more attention to you from now on."

"And when Tico asked you what did you want from me, you said to keep off your computers! Not that we'd be together, or that we'd be happy, but to stay away from your laptop!!" she screamed. Had Matt said anything about screaming, about what do do now?

"I'm sorry! Matt had said that you hadn't really broken up with me so I thought I didn't have to want that any more."

"You take me this much for granted?!"

Screw his advice, it was clearly not helping here.

"This is all Matt's doing, then? I knew this didn't sound anything like you. Did you get coached?" she spat the words out like venom. He thought it best not to start arguing about this.

"I'm trying here, Audrye. I took help as needed, since I really can't do this on my own!"

"But I don't want a Matty! I want a Nikki!"

He lost his temper. He was tired of decrypting her every sentence.

"I don't know what you want! I wasn't good enough before, now I'm not good enough either. I. Have. No. Idea. What do you want!? I don't know what made you so angry, I don't know how to fix it." In his rage he tossed the can in his hands across the kitchen where it clattered on the tiled floor. He could hear it clearly, as it was the only sound echoing in the room.

"Well I have no idea about you either", she eventually broke the silence, "You don't tell me about what you do or how you feel. When I got upset about you, you just carried on like you couldn't care less."

Nigel leaned his head on his hands, burying his fingers in his hair. He couldn't take much more of this.

"I didn't know what to say. You didn't tell me what it was that got you upset in the first place."

"You should have known!"

"But I didn't!" He looked up, locking his ice cold eyes into her. There was desperation in there too, in those warm amber eyes of hers.

"I can't read you mind, Audrye."

But she wasn't ready to forgive him yet. So she attacked with a new wave of wrath.

"Well same to you, Nikki! How can I know that you care when you never say so? I have no idea how you feel about me!"

How could she not? He loved every inch of her.

"I don't know how to tell you that", he sighed as all other words chocked in his throat.

"Well maybe you should think about that first! Leave the sleezy-talk to people like Matty!" she snapped as she stood up. She was going away again.

What could he say? Did he need to say that he loved her? Would that be enough? Did he need to be more specific? She was closing the distance between her and the door quickly and all Nigel could do was open and close his mouth, again and again. He needed to do something quickly!

A small hand grabbed Audrye's sleeve just as her hand reached for the handle. Audrye looked down to see a pink-haired girl stand next to her.

"I have just lost the thing most precious to me", the robot said in Nigel's voice, "I know I didn't deserve her in the first place, but it still hurts like hell. Had I gotten used to her being here? Perhaps. I had been in heaven, surrounded by this marvellous angel and all had been good and light and good God, I loved her. I do love her. She's the most amazing thing that I ever came into contact with. She's the most amazing person, most beautiful, most kind, most... everything..."

Nigel gulped. He had had no idea that the robot had been recording. What had he told her? To listen? Maybe this was close enough for the programming.

"Nuu?" it asked Audrye. She was staring at it, blankly. Very slowly she turned her head towards Nigel. He could see her eyes glistening.

"Did you... Did you say this? About me?"

He nodded. He could not find his voice at all.

A single tear was falling down her cheek. Hell, what did this mean then? But he couldn't just watch her cry. Like a wind-up toy he got up and strode to her. Without resistance she let him put his arms around her. And then she gripped him tightly. Her figure shook and she wet his shirt with warm tears. He gently kissed on her the top of her head.

"I love you, Audrye. I always have and always will. I hope that you will never doubt that", he whispered into her soft hair.

For this chapter, some mood music:

http://youtu.be/Lg31XQR22zg